Grandma B

My grandmother (Austin and Sarah's Great-Grandmother) passed away on March 6 after a battle with cancer and heart failure. She was a special woman and we have many fond memories of her.

A few of the photos from the past few years I could find on my computer...

After Michelle's ND Granduation. May 2008.At Kevin and Keng's wedding reception. October 2005.
One thing I remember about Grandma was that she loved to garden. She always had a beautiful yard full of thriving plants and flowers. Ever since I was a child, I smile and remember Grandma when I see one of those little fold out lawn chairs because Grandma had an itty bitty children's fold out lawn chair that she would sit in to garden. Her petite little butt barely fit in it, but it put her at the perfect level to do her gardening. She loved tulips. These are tulips that she was given before her death. They were closed. The day she died, they burst into full bloom.

We have so many wonderful memories of Grandma. I could go on for a long time, but I will just put a few down to paint a sketch of who she was to me. Grandma was smart, but not just book smart. She was clever. She was feisty and had a quip to fit any situation. She always had a twinkle in her eye and beautifully mischievous smile. She earned the nickname "the Imp". She also was nicknamed "hot legs" because she could sit in a W-sit and get up and down from that position well beyond the age she should have been able to do that. She always had miniature powdered sugar donuts for us when we visited and we ate way too many of them at breakfast (Kevin even with extra cinnamon/sugar on them!) She would poke my dad's elbows with a fork if they ever ventured onto the table when he was a kid. She loved the saying "Keep smiling. It will make people wonder what you've been up to." She was always a lot of fun. She was also artistic, not just in the garden, but with needlework and painting. She would stitch a different themed set of Christmas ornaments for all the grandkids each year - from Santas making the shape of our initials, to gingerbread boys and girls, to dinosaurs (even pink and purple ones) with sleigh bells. She even stitched needlepoint renditions of each of our homes - they were amazing! The most famous set of ornaments were the cubes for each grandchild with our initials and a baby picture on it. We teased that you could tell her eyesight was worsening, because each grandchild's cube was bigger than the last one's. She also stitched a Christmas stocking for each grandchild, every one of them unique and lovingly made. It was just one of the ways she showed how much she cared about each one of us. She always made each of us feel special. She was fiercely devoted to her family. As my dad put it, "she was a soccer mom before there was even a word for it." We always enjoyed visiting Grandma and Grandpa, despite the 9 hour drive. And I remember that every time we left for home after a visit and hugged Grandma goodbye, she had tears in her eyes. Every time.

Great-Grandma tickling Austin. June 2008.

We were blessed to be able to bring Sarah to meet her Great-Grandmother before she died. We were there 2 weeks before her death. Sarah won't remember her. Austin may not remember her either. But it meant so much to all of us to see the sparkle return to Grandma's eyes as she held her new baby great-granddaughter. Even as we watched her body wasting away, the twinkle was there. She was still Grandma.
Grandma saw and experienced so much in her 84 years. She was married to my Grandfather for 62 years. She had 3 wonderful children, 7 grandchildren, and now 2 great-grandchildren (my Austin and Sarah). We are so blessed we had her in our lives all this time. We love her so! We know she is now looking down on us from heaven.

The hard part to remember is that she smoked for 50 years or so. She had lung cancer...twice. The first time it took 1 lung. She also had heart failure. She survived the first bout of cancer, but she had more and more trouble breathing and walking around as time went on. Then this past fall, a new cancer was found in the other lung - the only lung she had left. There wasn't much that could be done, because she didn't have enough lung left to take out the cancer surgically and she was too weak to undergo chemotherapy. She had a trial of a low dose of a single chemotherapy drug, but could not tolerate it. She became more limited, ended up in the hospital for a little while, then to hospice care in a nursing home. She made it long enough to see one more Christmas, ring in 2010, and meet her new great-granddaughter. But she was suffering so much by the end. I beg of you, all my family and friends....please don't do this to your body.

My mom was in Rochester with me on Friday and called Grandma and Grandpa just to say hi. Unfortunately, the news was that it was not only a "bad day", but Grandma was nearing the end. Dad was already in Florida and Mom, Michelle, and Brian were planning to head there the next day. Plans were quickly rearranged and flights cancelled. We heard of her death on Saturday. Mom and Dad headed to Michigan as soon as Dad could get a flight home. I awaited word of funeral plans after they arrived in Michigan on Sunday, then packed like crazy Sunday night to jump in the car Monday morning. Steve had to stay behind, so the kids and I headed out on Monday morning with Michelle and Brian. I am so thankful for all their help, because getting the kids through the 9 hour drive by myself while sleep deprived and stressed would not have gone well. We made it there Monday evening. Traveling with my 2 kids without my better half (for the 2nd time in 2 weeks) was challenging, but luckily, I had lots of family around who competed for who got to hold Sarah and play with Austin.

Auntie Keng had some quality snuggle time.And my cousin Matthew (Sarah and Austin's first cousin once removed - I had to Google it to figure out what relation they are to each other) got to meet the kids too. I hadn't seen him in a few years, so it was amazing to see him as a young adult now. I still remember him as a kid. When I talk like that, it must mean I'm getting old.
Sarah was quite comfy with my Uncle Jim too. He's had some practice with 3 kids of his own. We got to see Kristin and Kyle, who have also grown up quite a bit. We saw Melanie 2 weeks ago when we visited, but she headed out on a mission trip the week of the funeral, so we didn't see her this time.

Austin, as usual, was a big fan of Uncle Brian and was distracted by Brian's iPhone at key times throughout the week. He now knows how to turn it on, unlock it, and find his favorite app which basically is a big red button that makes sounds like applause or crickets when you push it. The trip was also made much easier by our Sunday night purchase of a portable DVD player for the car (worth its weight in gold!).

On Tuesday, we tried taking Austin to the Curious Kids Museum in the morning to keep him occupied for a while, but it was closed due to being off the peak tourist season. We let Austin run around along the path overlooking the shore of Lake Michigan and explore some of the sights.

The wake was on Tuesday evening and the funeral and burial were on Wednesday morning. My mom pulled a bunch of photos out of her photo albums to help make some photo collages for the memorial. Here are some photos of the photo collages. Obviously, the photos are hard to see in this context, but if you click on them one at a time, they will open in full resolution in the web browser window.

The funeral home did a very nice job putting together the wake and the visitation and transport to and from the funeral at the church. The photo collages were framed and put on display for the visitation and there were even two 8x10 photos Grandpa had of Grandma when she was probably about Austin's age. She was an adorable little girl with dark curly hair - another reason she was excited to see Sarah's dark head of hair! Tuesday and Wednesday were difficult days of saying goodbye to Grandma, but a wonderful gathering of family to celebrate her life. It was wonderful to reconnect with family again and share the time together.

Austin and Sarah were in general very good. Sarah had a few bouts of spitting up all over herself and me (or whoever else was holding her at the time). She is not much of a spitty baby like Austin was, but she had a lot of overstimulation with all the activity and being passed around for so many people to hold her. Austin was a bundle of activity and mischief and it was hard to keep him contained at times, but we had multiple people to take him aside and play or keep him distracted with movies on his new mobile DVD player.

When we first got there on Monday night, we sat down to dinner and within minutes, out popped "Where is Great-Grandma?" Before the funeral on Wednesday, the family went to the funeral home again to say our last goodbyes before the casket was closed and brought to the church in the hearse. When it was my turn to go up to see her again, I was carrying Sarah and holding Austin by the hand. He came up with me, totally unfazed by seeing Great-Grandma in the casket. He very sweetly blew her a kiss. Then, as we walked away, he said loudly enough for all to hear, "Great-Grandma is with Jesus now." There certainly wasn't a dry eye in the house after that. Out of the mouths of babes! I've learned about child development and I've read about the developmental constructs of the 3 year old mind in terms of how a pre-schooler understands death. But Austin just seemed to get it. We didn't really explain it all that well or try to get him to understand what was going on and why everybody was sad. He just seemed to get it. I don't know what to say about that, I guess.

It certainly seemed like everybody enjoyed having some young ones around to bring some energy and youth to the celebration of Grandma's life. Our family rejoices in the new life of our little Sarah as we celebrate the closing of a Grandma's wonderful life on Earth. The circle of life always reminds us of God's beauty, wisdom, grace, and most of all HOPE for all that is, was, and is to come.

And then...life goes on. We returned home on Thursday, once again eternally grateful for the assistance of Michelle and Brian, who traded off driving us the whole way there and the whole way back, so I could be "flight attendant" for the 2 kids in the back of the van. We love you two so much! (and can't wait for your wedding and can't wait until we move closer to you this summer!).

Since then, we have been trying to get life in order at home for the last couple weeks before I go back to work. I return to 3 months of busy rotations starting 3/27. I'm not particularly looking forward to it, but it will be OK. Here are some photos from the past week or so at home.

We finally got our new glider chair cushions in the mail. It took about 11 weeks from the time we ordered them, but they are great. We bought the chair as a floor model, so the cushions had gotten some wear. Then Austin ADORED the chair and wore it out even more. It ended up with holes in the bottom cushion and stuffing leaking out before Sarah was born, so we decided to buy new cushions - even though they run upwards of $200. Here is Austin checking out the new chair cushions.
When Austin was little, we had tons of toys laying out for him to check out, but with our house on the market and Sarah so young, we have been trying to minimize how many toys we have out (that would then need to be put back away for house showings - or any time we leave the house with a possibility for a showing while we are gone). However, I started to feel like we were short changing Sarah, so I got out one of our baby toys for her. It is one we got as a hand me down from Alexis and Austin enjoyed on the sitting up setting. We put it together in such a way that Sarah can lay underneath it and watch the lights and pictures and listen to the cute little songs.
She seems to like it and I'm glad we got it out. Austin likes to "help" by showing her how to play with it.The blanket underneath was made for her by Great-Grandmomther Cronk (yes, I meant to spell it that way). The blanket is fleece and is very cute, soft, and snuggly.
The bouncy seat has been a life-saver from day 1 at home. Austin always loved it and Sarah does too. It is simple and comfortable. It isn't automated to vibrate or sway or do all sorts of mechanical movements for her. If she moves, kicks, or fusses, then her movements cause it to start a gentle up and down motion. If big brother comes along, however, and pushes it all the way down and lets go....well then she goes flying a little higher than we would like. She typically sits comfortably in her chair for a bit while we eat dinner, get Austin through potty time and bath time, or whenever I need 2 hands for a few minutes. She still likes to be held by mommy all day if she can, but this is a good substitute.

Waving hi to Mommy.

Sarah LOVES her baths now. Uneless she gets very messy, we bathe her every other day to keep from drying out her beautiful baby skin. She was unhappy about baths at first, then unsure about them, but now seems to find baths enjoyable and soothing.

She's also still working on getting her thumb...getting better but still not very consistent.

We've had a lot of pretty in pink Sarah, so today I decided to go for beautiful in blue!
Working on sitting up on the couch. She's got great neck strength and pretty good control of her head, but still needs us to help her keep her head steady most of the time.

Then Austin wanted in on the action too.Still full of kisses....lots of them...all day long.

Then, of course, he wants to hold her.Checking her out. He sure does love his little sister.

And he's a good big brother, too.

Family and friends, please feel free to click the comment link on the end of this post and add your own memories of Grandma. I'll save this as a little collection of memories of her and will enjoy walking down memory lane with you or hearing about bits of her life and times that I may not have ever known before.